💔 From Burdened to Bold: My Truth After an Abusive Marriage

There was a time in my life when I thought love meant carrying everything on my shoulders — emotionally, financially, and mentally — and asking for help made me “materialistic” or “ungrateful.” I was married to a man who worked two jobs, yet I paid all the bills. I supported him and his child, while receiving nothing in return — no gifts, no gratitude, no kindness. On top of that, I endured physical and emotional abuse behind closed doors.

One day, during a heated conversation about what it means to be a good husband, I told him, “A good husband provides.” His response? A Facebook post that read:

"Love and money don't mix. It's one or the other, unless your love is money. Then you use people to get to your love... Logic."

No, that’s not logic. That’s manipulation. That’s gaslighting. That’s what abusers do when they want to rewrite the truth.

I wasn’t in love with money. I was in love with the idea of a real *partnership*. One where two people support each other, not just financially — but emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I believed in building a life together. Instead, I was building alone while being blamed for expecting basic respect.

Let me say this clearly for any woman who needs to hear it:

💬 Wanting your partner to contribute financially does not mean you're greedy.

💬 Expecting love and support in return for what you give is not selfish.

💬 You are not crazy for feeling used when all you do is give and receive nothing in return.

💬 Love is not meant to hurt.

I’m no longer silent. I’m no longer shrinking. I’m no longer carrying shame that isn’t mine.

To the women who’ve been told they expect too much:

To the women who’ve been labeled “gold diggers” for expecting partnership:

To the women who’ve been called difficult for speaking up:

I see you. I was you.

But now I am free.

And I will never apologize again for knowing my worth.

This blog isn’t just my healing — it’s a hand reaching out to any sister who feels stuck, silenced, or shamed. You are not alone. You are not wrong. And you are *not to blame*.

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